I'm taking up Bachelor of Science in Information Technology in a state university here in the Philippines. Apparently, my utmost interest in life is writing. Writing, like any other writers would say, is my way of opening the door towards self-expression and imagination.
SELF-MADE MOTTO:
Still wondering what lies ahead in the future but in the long run, it doesn't matter how unpredictable life is for whatever should happen will happen. The only thing you can be sure of is that you have such thing as faith to keep yourself moving forward.
I write because I want to express not to impress. I don’t write to get attention and force people to like my blog. So don’t tell people that I write “KAARTEHAN” on my blog because it’s not. Hearing that from someone I’m not even close with hurts. However, I don’t want to seem weak and dramatic anymore but I would always want to find an outlet for my emotions. So let’s make things clear, I’m not gonna touch your life and how you live it and you don’t touch mine. I’m gonna live my life the way I should forgetting the fact that I always see you almost everyday. And I’m going to pretend that I don’t know you or I don’t see you because just by simply seeing your face makes me so aggravated.
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The ideal birthday celebration for me is having fun with family and friends. Sounds cliche??? It may sound so but celebrating your date of birth with the people who became part of your life and the people who give you the reason why you exists is worth celebrating for.
I had an argument with my step dad before the day of my birthday. I can’t really tell you the reason why we argued simply because I’m not comfortable talking about it online. But let me just tell you how I felt about it.
First of all, I’m hurt. Among all the people I know in my life, the two people whom I’m certain will understand me in everything I do or experience are my parents. They know the real me(maybe that’s what I assumed). However, I realized that the more I try to explain myself to them the more I become unheard and for those who know me as a person, I’m not satisfied by keeping peace with myself and not to say what I need to say. I know when and when not to argue. I don’t argue when I know I’m wrong or maybe I’ll do argue for awhile but I’ll definitely say sorry immediately and admit my fault…. (to be continued)
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If things happen unexpectedly, its either you feel bad or you feel worse. So you really have no choice at all. When I found out the next day that the power supply of our pc broke, I felt like I’ve lost someone I love. The pc we have at home has been with us for a long time and losing it as early as now has given enough reason to feel awful. My dad decided to fix it but he won’t allow us to use it anymore. He needs the computer for his business and he doesn’t want that incident to happen anymore. So, being as resourceful as I am, I go to work earlier so as to give myself time to surf the net. I don’t know if my parents know that I feel bad that I’m not allowed to touch the pc anymore. I just told my mom that if I get to save enough money, I’ll buy myself a laptop. I know it will take time.
I’m at work right now, grabbing the privilege …
I’ve seen and met people who never in their lives saw light. Having to actually meet them makes me wonder how it feels like to fill in their shoes and live my life seeing nothing but an empty space. I tried to imagine myself not having the gift of eyesight and doing so gives me scares. It’s the last thing that I want to happen in my life. However, if I was really blind for the rest of my life then I would definitely miss seeing a lot of things. First, I would miss my loved one’s faces. I will no longer see their smile if I crack a joke. I will no longer see them put their happy faces on everytime we watch funny shows on tv and I will no longer have the ability to look to their eyes and find their true feelings inside. Second of all, I would miss watching tv. Television has always been a very good friend of mine. It shows me MTV if I feel like watching music videos. It offers me TV Patrol if I want to see reality or if I simply want to get a good laugh then it lets me see Homer Simpson on its screen. Being blind for the rest of my life takes away my choice of entertainment.
I would also miss reading books. Reading for me is like….
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As far as I can see, people from all over the world are doing their big or little ways to save the environment from its nearing doom. I just want to keep my mind turned away from imagining a world with a totally destroyed environment with 0 percent chance of renewing and rebuilding it. However, why don’t we try to look at that picture even just for a second, if you don’t feel a sense of emergency, well that only means you simply just don’t care. Being realistic, I still see people unmindful of …
People don’t know things are not going well for me. I just don’t tell them exactly what’s happening simply because I don’t want them to know. Letting them know means a lot of explanations to do. It’s not that I don’t like explaining but sometimes I like to proceed to solving the problem rather than doing something that I think is not adding to my progress. There are things in life that are not meant to be told you know and are best kept in secret. Anyway, since things are not going great for me, I have noticed looking back for the past few days that I’ve been below normality, I mean it’s not normal for me to just lay around and do nothing for a day. One day, I was able to clean my room which was cluttered for months now I guess. Looking at a tidy room gives me a sense of fulfillment and sort of reminds me that if I want to achieve something I can actually do it if I have the desire to get it. However, fear gets the best of me. Fear of failing. Fear of rejection and other negative stuffs that even though I know are not helping me draw near to an accomplishment but still gets the permission to eat me up. There were so many….
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NO, REALLY, I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. WHY AM I HARD ON MYSELF???
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I was just telling myself awhile ago that if people would just know what I’m going through then they would be able to understand. However, there came a follow-up question right after that question came up.
So what if people would understand???? Would there understanding solve my problems???
Sometimes I seek people’s sympathy. I want them to know what’s going on in my life for me to prevent them from judging me as a person but I know no matter what I do I can never stop people’s minds from thinking what they want to think. If I know, they would still continue to judge me whether or not they know the whole story.
I just don’t like the feeling everytime I commit into an action and the crowd would just immediately jump into a conclusion without really knowing what happened in the first place.
I guess what people don’t know about me is sometimes my desperation to stop myself from hearing the mouths of judgemental people leads me to being too much of a crowd pleaser. I always try to please them to make them not to think of anything bad about me or my life. However, I am aware of the fact that I can’t please everyone. So why do I continue pleasing people if I can’t please them all in the first place? A bit confusing eh?? yeah, I know how you feel, I’m confused myself.
Well, I said all that because I am in a spin right now. I am confused and let’s just say a bit problematic as well. I am the person who tends to say or write senseless stuffs if I think too much of problems and forgive me about that. And also forgive me about the fact that I wasted your time reading this post if at the end of the day you’ll realize this post was just caused by confusion and problems of someone not so important in your life and not caused by any life-lesson discovery from a personal experience.
What: Volleyball Game
Where: (Prospect Place) Club 650 @Libis QC
When: Pag nabuo na yung 12 na kelangan (^.^)
What to bring : 1.Yourself
2. 100 pesos (entrance fee dun sa Gym)
3. Pocket Money (haha obvious to)
4. Drinks kung gusto mo…
5. Shoes / Sports Attire ( obvious din to )
Kung may suggestion kayo ng venue okay lang basta around Metro Manila lang ah! haha
@kenneth paki reblog naman :) tenks
I WANT TO JOIN!!!!!
Certification is drawing near and yes I’m trying to figure out how to handle the pressure which is starting to form as we get nearer to the judgement day on Monday.
REASONS WHY I SHOULD NOT BE WORRIED
1. I was able to pass the written exams that shows my understanding of everything that was taught to me.
2. Our trainer is so …
